Recommended dose working title!
by shadowedinsugar
Summary: Cuddy likes to think she's a recovered anorexic- it's just the "recovered" bit that's a problem.  eating disorder warning.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: triggering, don't read if this bothers you- stay safe kids. Comment if you think this isn't utterly terrible! Cheers!

2.47am. The neon numbers of the clock are too bright, searing. The twisting, cramping in her abdomen, searing.

_Jolt from bed, bolt to bathroom. Quick, quick. Pyjama's down, head nods forwards, exhaustion and pain are crippling._

Lisa Cuddy glances at her watch, it's just after 3am, she has to be up in three hours, and at this rate, she'll be stuck in the bathroom till then.

It's her own fault, this makes it much worse. She's done it to herself. Again. Every night, around 3am, she regrets this, promises it's the last time.

Every night, around 9pm, she's forgotten the night before, . More? Little sugary pills. How can such tiny pills cause such pain?

For a doctor she is silly, she thinks, as cramps rip through her intestines.

"Recovered Anorexic" read her medical notes. Dated 2001. And she is, she really is. A few teeny tiny pills, that's okay. Her intestines don't work properly anymore, she needs the laxatives, it's not a problem. Really. It's fine.

Even she doesn't believe that anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay I know these three chapters are disgracefully short- I just like my chapters to fit in my head anyway, sorry if it's a pain- if anyone reading this really is finding this maddening to have multiple short chapters than one long one, then I can figure something out!  
>This story as a whole is probably potentially incredibly triggering for anyone who has or has had an eating disorder- so please if this applies to you- don't read, or if you do, take care.  
>I don't know everything about eating disorders, and I am incredibly apologetic if people see anything written here as way off the mark- it's not my intention. I have a lot of experience, both personal and close friends, of eating disorders, but do feel free to point out any glaring errors you may spot!<br>Finally- sorry these three chapters vary a lot in style, it does annoy me that this happened, but hey ho, it's how it's written.

Hindsight being 20/20 she knew now that she shouldn't have allowed this to happen. But it was just too damn easy.

One day of feeling self- conscious, led to one skipped meal, led to one day skipped food, led to one binge, led to one box of laxatives and one hand down one throat. And seemingly, it was as simple as that.

Eight weeks after this, teensy slip up, Lisa Cuddy reflected that now things were anything but simple.

The denial which had kept her happy as her body failed throughout her twenties seemed to have disappeared, and somewhat annoyingly, she felt painfully aware of everything.


	3. Chapter 3

Cuddy dressed, speedily, underwear, dress, cardigan, coat, run run run. Could that be her excuse for not eating breakfast? Yeah, it was an excuse, shame she just didn't believe it anymore.

11am ticked by on the clock, each moment of starvation marked by the incessant tick tick tick of the clock. 11am, she remembered with sparkling clarity, was snack time on the EDU she'd spent months of her life in.

1pm, meeting of the transplant committee? "Oh, no thank you Dr Striesburg, I grabbed a sandwich before coming!" This was true. "Before" was very non- specific. Before, being yesterday.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey Jimmy! Patient, exhibiting non-specific fatigue, dizziness, personality changes, weight loss and low blood pressure?"

"What's going on? I don't recall you being a first year med student- these are basic symptoms, surely the diagnostic extraordinaire can figure out a text book case of Anorexia Nervosa?"  
>"That's what I thought…."<p>

James Wilson barely had time to look up from his paperwork, and House was gone, for a cripple the man moved damn fast. Something was going on with him. Was House trying to admit he had an eating disorder? No, he couldn't, could he? He hardly had the world's most balanced diet, but House? Surely he'd have noticed if he'd lost weight, if his eating had drastically changed?

Would Cuddy know what was happening? Cameron? Foreman?

Cameron would worry, that was unfair. House could be genuinely discussing a patient.  
>Foreman, well, he wouldn't want to be involved.<br>That left Cuddy. Would Cuddy know what was going on? Cuddy was observant, not as much as House that was a given, but she'd know, Lisa was sensible, Lisa would know what to do, wouldn't she?


End file.
